spiteful words may hurt my feelingsbut silence breaks my heart
mocakrEm
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Name: Bert
Birthday: 4/22/1988
Gender: Female


Occupation: Student

Email: email me
MSN: mocakrem@hotmail.com
Yahoo: mocakrem@yahoo.com
AIM: Bertinarea


Member Since: 1/5/2003

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

New background. I wonder if anyone still uses this thing??


Saturday, June 30, 2007

 We've fallen out of grace again. It could be the beginning of the end. We stuck by and watched the other walk away, could not stay, I can't believe we'd give up so easy.

Don't you miss the way we were? Don't you wish we made that turn?

What we said was sometimes meant, wasn't worth the breath that we spent, even though you don't know how much I tried or even why, for all it's worth it's not what we deserve.

Don't you miss the way we were? don't you wish we made that turn?

The best times are far gone.
All that's left is to forget.
Still I seem to hang on,
But indeed it's over.

Don't you miss the way we were? Don't you wish we made that turn?


Friday, June 22, 2007

I am sick of these damn tension headaches. I think I am about to burst! Ugh. I hate being stressed about stupid crap.

1. I am sick of playing like I am not angry. I am angry. You would be angry...in fact you have been angry. Which is why I am so damn confused.
2. Do you really think I deserve this?
3. Are you that afraid of me? Really, how old are we again?

That said, you are a certified ass right now, but even asses can change. I can only give you so much though.

4. Car shopping is a pain in my ass.
5. I am really poor right now.
6. When I finally find a car... I will be even more poor.
7. ugh. ugh. ahhh. ugh.

Those are only some of the many reasons my head is throbbing right now. God forbid I get some sleep.


Thursday, June 14, 2007

I have fallen in love with a device filled with light bulbs...long bright light bulbs. 12 minutes of heaven...that's all I have to say.

I am feeling much better about a lot of stuff. I guess it's because I have finally figured out what I am really facing...myself. It is always hard to look at myself and realize that I can be just as horrid as the next person. I find myself questioning my own feelings and actions. I think I am ok with not always knowing why I feel certain ways.  Maybe some day I will know, but for now I'm ok with not knowing, and I'm sure as hell not  going to let it all ruin my summer vacation. It's nice to return to some kind of normalcy. Now that I think about it I have lacked a sense of normalcy for a long time...so maybe my normalcy is to be abnormal. Life is full of craziness, but I guess that is what makes it worth living, that unexpected stuff.

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light." - Barry Lopez

I guess my expression of leaning into the light, for now, is literally leaning for 12 minutes in my little coffin of heaven.


Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Life sucks right now. 60 more days in this hell hole. That is all.



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